In The News | Talking about Ukraine

The current events unfolding in Ukraine are scenes that are worrying for all of us, no matter our age or closeness to the situation. Each member of the Fortis team are hearing about how people of all ages feel, in sessions this week.

It is a heart-breaking situation, no matter how we are related to it, and that we are, for the most part, looking from the outside in, with utter disbelief, and with emotional reactions that are vast and varied. For those caught up in the violence and attacks, it’s unimaginable – and for those of us watching from afar, feelings of confusion, fear and helplessness can feel overwhelming.

The uncertainty. The trauma. The impact. Coming out of Covid restrictions on the same day as a war beginning is a coincidence that will have an immeasurable and widespread impact on our society in regard to our mental wellbeing.

With words such as ‘invasion’, ‘bombing’, and ‘world war three’ hanging in everyday conversation at the moment, trying to fully understand what’s happening can feel impossible, due to these actions being nonsensical.  And it doesn’t escape our little ones. They are more aware than we often realise or give them credit for, however lack the full understanding of what is unfolding. So, how do you best explain what’s going on to the children in your life?

Over the past week or so we have already seen it. These times and actions will be difficult for young ones to process but there is already a range of help available to specifically help them understand and deal with the current events. Young Minds have some great resources available as do Phoenix.

For us, as the days move forward it is simply about communicating openly and effectively. Letting them know it is ok to ask about it and listening to all they need to say. Encouraging children to explore the language they are hearing or reading surrounding war and what is going on in the world in a safe environment is vital. As are the ways we help them cope with any feelings of anxiety, feeling out of control, worried, stressed or scared.

All of these responses that we are seeing, are sadly ones we are familiar with in all ages due to the last two years of social and economic change. Trauma responses are once again being triggered, as well as re-traumatising responses in those who have already experienced war or the threat of it in their own lifetime or historically in their families.

Points to talk about may include:

• Create space to listen (while you’re cooking tea, eating together, playing games, watching TV, driving, walking together) – try to have open conversations, and resist closing the conversation down if you find their feelings difficult to hear.
• Acknowledging the uncertainty of the decisions made by Putin.
• Using creativity to express complex feelings that words may just not cover.
• Using stories and books to help to make sense of feelings of anxiety and worry.
• Acknowledge that we do not have the answers, but counties are working together in the hopes of finding a solution.
• Giving them the opportunity to do something, to take action, to contributes towards helping those seeking asylum and needing aide.
• Be aware that ears of all ages are listening all the time. Be careful to have adult conversations out of earshot of children and young people as these adult worries can add to their anxieties and feelings of being out of control.
• Make sure you have someone to talk with too, a friend, family member, a trusted colleague, a therapist.
• Be mindful that as a society we are still recovering from the impact of the pandemic, so we are not processing what has happened necessarily from a resilient perspective.
• Being kind to yourself and having strategies to keep yourself steady as well as you can, this will ripple out to support your family and their processing of the events too.