What to expect from your first therapy session?

It’s completely normal to be anxious before your first therapy session. It’s a daunting and brave thing to do but feeling more prepared and knowing what to expect often helps.

The first session is primarily about introductions; you will be welcomed by your therapist, and offered a drink, then shown to the room where your sessions will be held. You might need a moment to get acquainted with your surroundings and that’s completely fine. The therapist will then tell you a bit about how they work and what their process is, but it’s not as formal as it sounds. This will include making sure you know how confidentiality works, which refers to what they can and can’t keep private.

During this time, you can ask as many questions as you like.

The remainder of the session is a conversation that gives both you, the client, and the therapist a better understanding of what you need to explore. This will include talking about why you’re here, and what you hope to get out of these sessions. If you’re not sure, that’s okay, there really are no right answers to these sorts of questions as their completely individual. The therapist will help navigate the conversation, if you need some help finding where to start, but it’s important to remember that if there are moments of silence for whatever reason that’s completely fine. It’s often useful to remember that you don’t need to fill every gap in conversation, it isn’t your responsibility nor is it expected of you. Alternatively, if you do find yourself doing that then remember that it’s a normal response when a person is nervous.

They may then ask further questions about your background, if required, which could mean your mental health history, family, relationships and work. This is just to help your therapist get a better understanding of your life; however, you only need to divulge what you feel comfortable saying at this point. Generally, if it’s important enough it will come up in later sessions when you’re ready, so don’t feel bad if you still want to keep some things to yourself. Potentially, you may discuss some goals you’d like to strive to achieve from these sessions but that’s not always the case at this point. Therapists will then talk through with you how the next session will go, if you wish to continue, these will be different to the first one as you start to get more comfortable. They’ll ask you how you feel at the end, you may have positive or negative feelings and that’s normal, it can make someone feel lighter to discuss why they’ve come to therapy, but it can also feel uncomfortable. However, you feel is completely okay, and won’t be judged.

There are common misconceptions about therapy that you might like to know before having your first appointment.

For example, unlike in film and television, you are not expected to lie down on the sofa, you can sit in the many comfy chairs on offer, as long as you feel at ease. That’s the most important thing. Not all therapists take notes during the session, some wait until after you’ve left, but either way it’s integral that you know it’s only to further inform how they can help you, and it’s not a series of judgements about you as our brains would like to tell us.

The rooms are not dark and miserable, or soulless, as care has often been taken to make them feel like a nice welcoming space that you would want to spend time in. Sometimes clients are worried about whether their difficulties warrant a therapist’s time or attention and feel shame about this. There is no benchmark that decides what qualifies you to engage in therapy, no level of difficulty required, it could simply be about wanting more from your life or feeling stuck.

Finally, some clients feel they are weak if they seek help, that is simply not true. It takes much more courage and strength to admit that you might need some support and to take action to help yourself, than it does to suffer in silence.