Supporting your child through exams and results day.

The exam season – from the build-up, revision, and the actual exams to results day - can be a challenging time for young people, and your child may struggle with anxiety, stress, or mood swings.

In 2022, 82%* of headteachers reported that stress and anxiety (surrounding GCSE and A-Level examinations) is higher than before 2020. So, during this time, make sure you keep an eye out for signs of anxiety in your child. With that in mind, it's important to plan ways to support your child during this time.

How to Deal with Exam Stress

Here are 10 ways to support your child in the build-up to and during exams.

1. Help them find their own revision style; every child is different, and revision doesn’t have to be one-size-fits-all.
2. Encourage regular revision breaks; here are some self-care tips.
3. Ensure they eat and drink regularly.
4. Reassure them; you're proud no matter what.
5. Stay positive and hopeful.
6. Plan a post-exam treat or activity together.
7. Schedule one-on-one time for them to share worries; here are 5 helpful things you can say to your child if you think they have anxiety.
8. Validate their feelings and offer support and solutions.
9. Establish a good bedtime routine to ease night-time anxiety.
10. Practice breathing exercises to find out what works for them.

Breathing Exercises

When we’re feeling anxious, focusing on breathing exercises can be a useful way of self-soothing. With your mind on your breath and body, you eventually start to feel your heart rate return to its natural rhythm and ease the fog in your mind.

Here are four methods which may help if you’re feeling anxious, stressed, or having a panic attack.

Diaphragmatic (belly) breathing

1. Place one hand on your upper chest and the other under your ribcage.
2. Inhale slowly through your nose, feeling your stomach push outwards while keeping your chest still.
3. Exhale through pursed lips, allowing your stomach to go inwards while keeping your chest still.

4-7-8 Breathing

1. Inhale through you nose, counting to 4
2. Hold your breath, and count to 7
3. Exhale through your mouth, counting to 8

Visualisation Breathing

Use your mind and visualise an image or idea in your head to focus on your breathing.

For example:

1. Breathe in and imagine your tummy is inflating like a balloon.
2. Breathe out and imagine the balloon is deflating as your abdomen goes down.

You could imagine the balloon is your favourite colour, or that every time you exhale it is taking you higher into the sky.

Thumb-Blowing Technique

1. Sit or stand in a place where you feel safe and can relax for a few moments, and bring your thumb up to your lips as if you are going to whistle.
2. Gently blow air over the tip of your thumb. Imagine you are blowing out a candle very slowly.
3. As you blow on your thumb, focus on taking slow, deep breaths. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
4. Continue to blow gently on your thumb and breathe deeply for a few minutes, or until you feel your heart rate decrease and your body relax.

Tips for managing exam results day.

When results day arrives, it's important to remember that everyone’s expectations are different. If your child's results don't meet their – or your - hopes, it's natural to feel disappointed. However, it's important not to criticise or blame them. Instead, try and help them understand and cope with disappointment.

Exam results day can cause a rollercoaster of emotions. We can tell you – and your child - a thousand times not to worry, that these results aren't their entire future, but we know that’s easier said than felt.

So instead, here are some tips for helping them make it through results day.... and remember, no matter what the outcome is, remind them that they should be proud of themselves.                       

1. Stay calm
2. Make a plan for the day.
3. Practice positive self-talk.
4. Make sure they know they have a good support network.
5. Plan distractions to stop them from worrying.
6. Avoid Comparison.
7. Stay positive.
8. Encourage them to ask for support.
9. Remind them there are always options.
10. Plan a celebration regardless of the results.

Here are five tips to support them when they have received their results.

1. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴?
Encourage them to open up about how they're really feeling. Let them share their thoughts first.

Congratulate them - regardless of the results they sat the exams and that is an achievement in itself. If they got the results they were hoping for celebrate, and if not, make sure they know that you are there to support them.

2. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗷𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆.
Remind your child that exam results do not define them as a person, and setbacks are a part of life.

3. 𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗜 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘅𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀?
Shift the focus towards the future and how you can help them explore their options, whether it's further education or personal growth.

4. 𝗬𝗼𝘂'𝘃𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀.
Remind your child that there are alternative paths or opportunities available.

This could include retaking the exam, seeking additional education, or pursuing different avenues altogether.

5. 𝗜'𝗺 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂.
Regardless of the final outcome, remind your child that you are proud of their hard work and effort.

If they haven't achieved what they are hoping for, make sure you encourage positive self-talk, reminding them that they are capable and deserving, irrespective of the exam outcome.

Find out more about why it’s important – whatever their results – to let them share them in a way they’re comfortable with.

If you would like more advice on supporting your child through exams, get in touch with the friendly team at Fortis Therapy & Training today.